Her Shadow
by supernerdyfangirl
Summary: -Sequel to Ender's Weakness- It's been two years since the girl Ender loved died and yet her shadow still haunts his nightmares.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own** **Ender's Game.**

* * *

"Monster."

The word repeated itself over and over in his head.

"Monster."

The teen walked towards the young girl who had uttered the words. She turned to face him.

"You're a monster, Andy!"

The way she said it was almost tauntingly. The girl was only about seven or eight.

"Andy!" she called. Started to run, giggling as she repeated the taunting words. The commander soon chased after the little girl. He quickly lost sight of her until he ran around a corner to find the blonde now standing as a twelve year old.

"Do you mind slowing down so we can speak?" Ender asked as he once again lost sight of her.

"That's not how you play the game, Andy!"

The teen sighed and ran in the direction the pre-teen was a few seconds ago.

When he found the pre-teen, she was no longer a pre-teen but in fact a girl his age. She wore a bun in her hair just like the last time the two had crossed paths but instead of her military uniform, the girl wore black jeans, a deep blue top and black plimsolls. He was speechless.

"Oi, Andy! You forget how to speak or what?"

"C-Cayla."

"Yes, that my name, you idiot!" the dead girl rolled her eyes. "Is that all you can say now?"

"What do you want, Cay? Why are you here again? I should be allowed to know that."

"Why would I want anything from you? I am just a figment of your imagination," She said innocently.

"That's exactly why you would."

"Why can't I just come here to say hello to the murderer that left me to float in space with thousands of others?"

"There it is," he sighed.

"You murdered me, Andy. It's your fault I'm dead. You sacrificed so many to win that stupid war. If you hadn't, I'd be with you. It's time to let go. I'm never coming back and it's all your fault."

"You think I wanted to play their games? That I knew you were out there? I knew nothing; they told me nothing! If I could go back, I'd change places with you. My last two years have been hell."

"Oh, yes because all of the travelling, awards and girls throwing themselves at you have obviously given you hell," the blonde replied sarcastically. She turned to walk away.

"Cay, where are you going? Come back!" The boy begged. Cayla turned to face him again, shoving him as she spoke.

"I want to know why it was me. Why wasn't someone else stuck with this pathetic _project_?"

"_Project?_"

"Oh, sweetie. Didn't you know?"

"Know what?"

"Those memories, our childhood, was all one big act. Everything that you thought was accidental was planned. Like the one when I saved-"

"Don't finish that sentence!"

"Don't you find it a bit strange that my parents moved next door to your's just after I was born?"

"Your Dad transferred. It was a coincidence."

"A 'coincidence?' Really! That's what you thought it was?"

"Cayla, stop it!"

"I'm just telling you the truth, sweetie. Ask my parents. I dare you."

"No. You're not telling the truth because _you're not here_!"

"Why wasn't it you sent into the field?"

"Cayla!"

"What?" she asked almost too innocently. "I'm just stating the truth. These are the questions you ask yourself on a daily basis, correct?"

"Correct. Now leave!"

"Sweetheart, I can't leave. None of this is real. It's all happening inside your head but I guess I've overstayed my welcome. Bye, Andy." The girl once again turned to walk away.

"Huh? Where are you going?"

"All in due time, sweetie. We'll see each other _very_ soon but right now it's time for you to wake up," she smirked. "Wake up!"

"What?"

"WAKE UP!" The girl began to transform into a Formic. "See ya next time."

* * *

Ender screamed as he sat up in his bed, colliding heads with someone while doing so.

"OW! Ender? Ender, are you okay?" It was Valentine.

The boy nodded. "I'm fine, Val. Go back to bed."

The brunette walked over to the boy's curtains. "I would but you need to get up if you want to be on time for your session with Cathy." The girl pulled open his curtains causing sunlight pour in. The teen groaned as sunlight hit his eyes and tried to shield his face from the burning rays of light.

* * *

**First chapter of Her Shadow done! You have no idea how hard this chapter was to write. The dream sequence was the reason I didn't post this sooner. I am proud of this though.**

**Don't forget to favorite, follow and review.**

**See you next time,**

**supernerdyfangirl **


	2. Chapter 2

"So what was the most recent nightmare about?" The Councillor asked him.

"We were in battle school but...it was deserted. The walls were covered in all of my memories of her. It was strange. She appeared as a seven year old, a twelve year old then finally a seventeen year old."

"Is there any strong memories connected to these ages that you saw?" Cathy questioned.

"Twelve is easy. She left for battle school at that age. Seven..." He pretend to think for a moment. "Nothing. And I haven't seen her since she was fifteen so no memories at seventeen. Too bad. Oh no. What a terrible thing!"

"Are you positive there's no memories connected to when you both were seven?" The women raised an eyebrow, knowing she'd cracked him. "This could be the thing holding you back."

"It's not holding me back!" Ender screamed, standing up and walking towards the door. "These stupid counselling are holding me back from finding her!"

"You know she's not out there. It's just your mind not letting her go," Cathy stated, following the distressed boy.

"To_ filpping hell_ it is!" He turned to face the women who was about a head shorter then him. "You know I'm-"

The door opened behind the two although Ender did not turn around to face them. He didn't need another person bugging him.

"I'm so sorry! Karen must of sent me here too early. I told her we could wait ten minutes but no!"

Ender stood frozen to the spot in shock. He thought he'd never hear that voice again.

"Cayla?" He asked quietly as he turned to face her.

"I'm sorry but who? I'm Skyler. I come here to gain memories."

Ender looked confused when she said that.

"Amnesia of sorts. Can't remember who I am, who my family are and all I is that I was one of few pilots found alive on Eros. Wait! You do seem familiar," The blonde stood thinking for a second or two. "Aha! I knew it! You're Commander Wiggin! It's an a great pleasure to meet you sir!"

Ender closed his eyes as he felt them begin to water up.

"Are you okay sir?" She asked. He opened his eyes to see soft blue eyes staring back at him with concern.

"Perfectl-" Ender coughed, noticing that his voice was cracking slightly and going higher then usual. He quickly placed a fake smile on his face. "Perfectly fine, Skyler and please, the pleasure is all mine. Also, call me Ender or Andrew. I don't like being called Commander everywhere I go."

"Could I call you Andy?"

He let out a small chuckle. "I don't see why not. If and only if I get to call you Skye."

She smirked. "Deal."

Cathy who had been watching this encounter, spoke up.

"I'll be right back," she said and with that she left the two in the room.

"Well, I'd best be off," Ender said sighing.

"Wait, you forgot this," Sky handed him over his hoodie.

"Oh, thanks. By the way, could I get your number?"

"Why?"

"Oh, so now I'm not allowed to ask a pretty girl for her phone number."

"Andy!"

"Yes Skye?" He asked innocently.

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this."

The two exchanged numbers and Ender left his counselling section actually happy but that wouldn't last long.

* * *

As Ender was walking along side the road, a blue car pulled up beside him. The window rolled down to reveal Valentine.

"Ender? What are you doing here? I was just going to pick you up."

"Finished early," he shrugged.

"You didn't storm out again, did you?" she questioned, referring to the multiple times Ender had decided that the counselling was stupid and proceeded to storm out like a child throwing a tantrum.

"Me? Storm out? Val, I don't know what you mean."

"Whatever you say Ender. Now get in the car."

"Okay."

After checking there was no other cars coming, Ender walked around the other side and climbed into the front seat next to Valentine.

"So... How did it go?" The girl asked as she began to drive.

"Quite well," the commander replied, taking out his phone and playing on a game.

"Any more reoccurring nightmares?"

"Val, I've literally just had this conversation with Cathy. Yes but getting better. How many times have I explained this?" the teen snapped at her.

Ender had been a lot more bitter since he had came back so him snapping at someone had sadly became something they were all used to. His family and friends originally thought it was his way of grief but they had soon discovered that the 'old' Ender wasn't going to come back for a long time.

The rest of the car journey was spent in silence as Ender was once again seething in anger. What Ender had learned from his friends since he had came back was that they already knew it wasn't a game. It was just more salt to add to the wound. He had made up with them but they didn't meet up with him often.

When they arrived home, Ender exited the car quickly and made a bee-line for his room as soon as he stepped foot in the house. Peter stopped him by blocking the door.

"Hey Andy-poo, how did counselling go?"

"Don't call me that and none of your business."

"Oh okay," the eldest brother sighed, stepping out of the way. Peter had realised that Ender was in one of his 'I'm seething in anger. Don't annoy,' moods.

As soon as the blonde man had moved out of the way, the dark haired teen walked into his room and slammed the door to emphasise to his siblings that he was still angry.

"Was it something I said?" Valentine asked.

* * *

**Yeah so... about 4 months later I finally update this. I'm so sorry but if I get writers block, I will have it for months. No joke.**

**Anyways, don't forget to review, favourite and follow.**

**See you next time,**

**supernerdyfangirl**


	3. Chapter 3

"Where's Ender?" Theresa asked as she walked in.

"Where do you think?" Peter replied bluntly, not looking up from his phone. "The Bugger is still sulking."

His mother sighed, catching on as to where Ender would be. She walked up stairs and knocked on his door.

"Ender, sweetie can I come in?"

A few moments of silence passed before he replied. "Sure, whatever."

Theresa walked in and sat down on the edge of his bed. "How did it go then?"

"All right I guess," Ender replied quietly.

"And the nightmares?"

"They're okay."

"Okay," she repeated. "The Parkers are coming over for dinner tonight by the way."

"They still hate me, don't they?"

"Ender! Why would they ever hate you?"

"I'm the reason Cayla isn't back with them. She's really gone, isn't she Mom?" He asked, voice slightly breaking with every word. This was his way to get out of his stupid counselling sections. Make them believe he thought Cayla was dead and help Skye regain her memories. It was a win win situation.

"You just need to let her go. It'll get better."

"Thanks Mom."

"I'll just be downstairs if you need me," Theresa said standing up and walking towards the door.

"Okay."

* * *

"How is he?" Valentine asked as her mother walked down the stairs.

"Better. He's finally letting go of her."

"Just an hour ago he was sulking about. There's no way he could be over her that quick," Peter exclaimed.

"You're right. Maybe we should just not mention the C word in front of him for the time being," Theresa explained.

"Agreed," Val nodded.

"Now, you two need to help me put the shopping away."

* * *

"So, how's everyone week been?" Valentine asked, trying to start up conversation.

"Oh! Did you hear about Mrs Jenson and her husband?"

"Peter how's the degree coming along?"

"Quite well actually. Thanks for asking Alex."

For the most part, Ender sat not really listening to the conversations happening around him and played with his food until someone mentioned his name.

"Ender, how did the counselling section go today?" John-Paul asked his youngest son.

The teen let out an extremely long sigh as he had already been asked the question multiple times.

"Yeah Andy-Poo, how did it go?" Peter smirked.

"Don't call me that!"

"Ender we just-"

"Forgot about Cayla yet?"

"Peter!"

"Leave me alone!" Ender exclaimed, standing up and running up to his room.

When in his room, he grabbed his phone and called Skye. She quickly answered with her hologram appearing.

"Hey Andy! What's wrong?" She asked sensing he was upset.

"My family are so annoying!"

"Your brother by any chance?"

"How did you know?"

She shrugged in response before another female voice was heard.

"Talking to your boyfriend Skye?"

"Speaking of annoying siblings," Skye muttered before turning to talk to the girl. "He's not my boyfriend Charlotte!"

"Well it sure does seem like it. 'Andy this, Andy that' ever since you got home."

"Sure I did, whatever you say. What do you want?"

"I'm bored."

"Then go annoy James."

"You're no fun."

"Love you too Charlotte," Skye replied as the other blonde walked out of her room.

"Bye Commander Wiggin," She called before closing the door.

"Foster sister by any chance?"

"Yep and just as annoying as Peter."

Ender narrowed his eyes slightly. He hadn't told Skye his brother's name.

"So you were saying?"

"Peter's an asshole."

"Ah yes. What was he annoying you about?"

"Cayla."

"I know that name!" That caused the Commander's head to snap up.

"You do?"

"Captain Cayla Parker, right? Your best friend who died during the second Formic war. Why would Peter annoy you about her? Isn't that a bit heartless?"

"Trust me. Peter doesn't know the meaning of heartless. Even if he did, he'd still annoy me."

"I'm sure he doesn't mean any harm. You all grieve in your own ways. I mean I'm sure he's grieved her and after two years, maybe he thought you had finished your grieving."

"I haven't grieved her, Skye!" he shouted.

"And here I was thinking Peter was heartless," she murmured before he continued.

"Because she's not dead."

"What?"

"She's not dead."

"Sorry to burst your bubble but I'm pretty sure she is Ender. Hardly anyone survived. I'm one of the lucky ones but from what I learned, she was in the squadron you sacrificed to win. Maybe it's time to let go," The blonde explained.

"Maybe she has amnesia like you! It's possible!"

"But unlikely. I feel like I'm playing Devil's advocate here but she's gone. It's been two years."

"I know but-"

Another voice cut him off. It was a male this time.

"Ah. Talking to Andy are you Skye?" She nodded. "You don't remember me do you? I was that really tall kid in Battle school. One of the people who went up with you."

"James Smith? Is that really you?" Ender said, slightly recalling the blonde.

"Yup. Anyway, it's time for dinner Skye. Nice seeing you Ender," James said before the hologram disappeared.

Ender had calmed down a bit before walking downstairs to find them all speaking as if he hadn't stormed off.

"You lot are a bit heartless aren't you?" He asked.

"Why do you say that Ender?" Emma asked softly. "Isn't that slightly rude?"

Emma had became much more quiet and shy after the news of her sisters death.

"It's been two years since she disappeared and five since you last saw her and you're all sitting around as if nothing's happened. You're all acting as if she's dead. Sh-"

"Ender, I don't know how long it'll take to get into your thick head but my daughter died two years in the Formics war thanks to you!" Alex shouted. He had became a lot more angry since she was gone. He snapped at anyone who even suggested Cayla was alive. Most of all, Ender.

"Alex! Maybe that was a bit harsh!" Jenny exclaimed, the only one who hadn't changed personality wise but had never been the same afterwards.

"I don't care! We've all accepted she's gone. Why won't he?!"

"Because I can't."

"Ender, that's no excuse."

"I can't until there's proof she's gone. So far, all the 'proof' is rather far fetched. If anyone survived, it'd be Cay."

"Well you're hanging onto false hope, kid. I knew I'd never see her again after sending her away in that car," Alex snarled.

"Then why did you let her go? She would be with us if you had convinced her otherwise!"

By this point, both men were standing, face to face, screaming at one and other.

"She went for you. There was no convincing her. Graff said it'd help you if she went. She'd die for you and do you know what? She did."

* * *

**Hi. Yeah, I know. I've been gone for a couple of months but my laptop has been really slow! I've had this chapter typed up for months. Please don't kill me. **

**Anyways, I'm _hoping _to update soon. **

**See you next time (hopefully soon)**

**\- supernerdyfangirl**


	4. Chapter 4

Ender lay awake in his bed that night. Alex was right. She sacrificed herself for him. Bean had told him that there was no changing her mind; fighting for him was what the I.F had always intended her life to be. She was gone. And he had killed her.

The black haired boy shook his head, trying to rid himself of the thought.

No. Cayla _had_ to be out there. She was out there. She had to be.

_She had to be._

* * *

The teen once again stood in battle school.

"Here we go again," He muttered to himself as he walked forward. "Quit hiding, Cay!"

The blonde appeared in front of him, wearing exactly what Skye had today. She smiled her warm smile. "Hello."

"You need to stop lurking. You're always in my head. But-"

"Don't tell me you're loosing faith in me now! I am out there! Focus Andy," She shouted as she strode up to him. "Please don't stop believing in me."

"Cay, you're just a figment of my imagination," He said sadly.

"In here, yes. Not in real life. You know exactly who I am. So don't give up on us. Don't give up on me."

* * *

"Hello?"

"Hi, Skye. This is Ender. I was wondering if you wanted to go out. On like, a date?"

Silence followed for a moment or so before she replied. "Sure! When?"

"Whenever you're free."

"Okay, give me a second." The girl placed the phone down and didn't answer for about five minutes. "Sorry. I was talking to Charlotte. This Friday sound good?"

"Yeah. I'll pick you up at noon. Text me your address."

"Okay, see you then."

"Bye."

* * *

"Val?" Ender knocked on her door.

"Come in."

He walked in and stood awkwardly before speaking. "I need your help."

"With what?" The brunette asked.

"I have a date."

The girl's blue eyes widened. "You have a date?" she asked shocked. He nodded. The women jumped up from her seat immediately. "Who is she? Where did you meet her? Is this your first date with her?"

"Skyler Smith. Counselling. Yes."

"So you need advice?" The boy once again nodded.

"Please."

She smiled. "Okay then, lead the way."

* * *

Andy stood outside the Smith residence. This was it. He rang the door bell. A brunette girl opened the door.

"Commander Wiggin?" She asked suspiciously. He nodded. The girl looked him up and down. She then started to circle him with the occasional tut or "hm."

"Charlotte, stop terrorising the boy," a older brunette women spoke up. "Hello, I'm Karen. Skye will be down in a minute. Come in."

The brunette walked in before Ender, giving one last tut.

"Lottie, stop being cruel to my dates!" Skye's voice was heard as she walked down the stairs. She smiled upon seeing Ender.

"Hey," he said as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey, Andy."

"Want to go?"

"Okay," she replied before she waved to Karen and Charlotte. "See you later."

* * *

The two sat at a small cafe. The waitress came up to them.

"Hello, I'm Emma. I'll be- Ender?" she asked.

"Hi, Emma," he replied.

"Who's the friend?"

"I'm Skyler Smith," the blonde girl smiled as she looked up from her phone. Emma's eyes widened as she got a clearer look at the girl's features.

The blonde hair, Mum's nose, Dad's cheekbones, _h__er _eyes. Cayla's bright blue eyes. The soft and kind eyes. Even after five years, Emma would never forget those eyes.

"Cayla?" she asked in pure shock.

The girl furrowed her brow in confusion. "I'm not Captain Parker. I wish. Maybe then I'd know who I was."

"Cayla Alexandra Parker, do you know who that is?" Emma asked.

"Yes," Skye replied before pointing at Ender. "It was his best friend who died in the Formic war. I'm guessing you are a friend or family member."

"Emma Jennifer Parker. Cayla's older sister. Does that make you remember anything?"

"If you'll excuse me, I need the bathroom," Skye stood up and Emma pointed her in the right direction. The older blonde sat down in the seat recently vacated.

"Emma, stop it. You're scaring my date!" Ender hissed.

"Just last week, you and dad were arguing about her being alive and suddenly you have a date with her," Emma stated.

"So, you believe me now?"

"Yeah, she's definitely Cay. I mean, her eyes are still the same as the twelve year old sister I waved goodbye to five years ago. Does she remember anything about her life?"

The dark haired boy shook his head as he sighed. "Other then calling me Andy and being in the I.F, nope. I need her to remember. I can't pretend any more. She-"

"Ender!" Emma hissed before gesturing behind him. Skye stood there glaring.

"I knew it," she muttered. "You only liked me because you think I'm Cayla. I have one last thing to say to you."

He didn't even argue back. She had heard correctly. "Which is?"

"Cayla Alexandra Parker died two years ago in the squadron you sacrificed. She's never coming back," with that, Skye stormed out of the cafe.

* * *

Emma and Ender knocked on the door. Maybe he could help.

Bean opened the door, looking confused to see the pair.

"Hey..."

"We need your help."

* * *

"So you're telling me, you've found her. She's alive?"

"Yes. She is," Ender replied. "But she has severe amnesia."

"That's where you come in, Bean," Emma spoke up.

"How?"

"She didn't recognise me, Bean. Her best friend! She looked slightly scared with Emma shouting at her to remember things."

"We think that you were the last voice she heard before crash-landing. I mean, you were commanding her squadron," the blonde girl explained.

"So, you think that because I was the last voice she heard, she recognise me?" the pair nodded. "I guess that makes sense. I'll give it a shot."

* * *

**Rather happy how this chapter came out. Bean will play a big role in the book after this.**

**Don't forget to Favourite, follow and review.**

**See you next time, **

_**supernerdyfangirl**_


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